The Clothing Wars


I just read a great blog post called The Fat Bride that was linked through the blog Medicinal Marzipan.

As soon as I saw  the title, I clicked on the link right away.  The author Feoshia Henderson tells the story of buying a wedding dress with the idea of losing weight to fit into it.   Although I’ve never been a bride, I could so relate to her words of feeling “stressed, desparate – and fat” when she realized that she wouldn’t be able to fit into the dress by her wedding day and that she would be a fat bride.  The end of the story was a good example for me that beauty really is in the eyes of the beholder and that I don’t have to beat myself up for not fitting into the size that I think I should be.  

It’s hard to give up on clothes that don’t fit me.  It’s like giving up on the dream that someday I’ll have the body that I have in my head.  That “good body” has really only ever existed in my imagination.   My imaginary body isn’t attached to anything in reality, because it’s not attainable.  I look at pictures of myself from when I was younger and weighed 80 pounds less and wonder why I wasn’t happy with my body even then.  It’s because my physical body never matched that imaginary one that I had dreamed up in my head.  Hmmm . . . what a disconnect! 

If a clothing item doesn’t fit, my first thought is that it’s because my body is wrong and imperfect.  I need to make my body fit the clothes instead of the other way around.  In reality, the human body does come in different shapes and sizes.  That’s why clothing comes in different styles and sizes.  I can say it in my head, but I’m not sure that I truly know it in my heart and soul.

What if every piece of clothing in my closet fit me well and looked good on me?  That would be a generous gift of self-acceptance.  

What if I could change the body image in my mind to match the body that I actually have, instead of trying to make my body fit the one that I’ve dreamed up for myself?  That would be a true gift of self-love.

If you can relate, click to read The Fat Bride by Feoshia Henderson posted on


One response »

  1. The numerical size issue is an issue for me. I did the thing where I gave away or stored away my smaller clothes. But my ability to really let go of those clothes is not good – somehow the clothes that fit me now pale in comparison.

    Why is it easier for someone to give away their “fat clothes” than it is for someone to give away their “thin clothes”? And even with today’s practice of vanity sizing (where a size 4 today is the actual same measurement of a size 8 from 1980), the perspective seems to have shifted beyond it. It’s not advantageous enough to fit into today’s size 4 when the goals are size 0 or 2. What is size 0 anyway? Do you not exist?

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