As soon as I saw the title, I clicked on the link right away. The author Feoshia Henderson tells the story of buying a wedding dress with the idea of losing weight to fit into it. Although I’ve never been a bride, I could so relate to her words of feeling “stressed, desparate – and fat” when she realized that she wouldn’t be able to fit into the dress by her wedding day and that she would be a fat bride. The end of the story was a good example for me that beauty really is in the eyes of the beholder and that I don’t have to beat myself up for not fitting into the size that I think I should be.
It’s hard to give up on clothes that don’t fit me. It’s like giving up on the dream that someday I’ll have the body that I have in my head. That “good body” has really only ever existed in my imagination. My imaginary body isn’t attached to anything in reality, because it’s not attainable. I look at pictures of myself from when I was younger and weighed 80 pounds less and wonder why I wasn’t happy with my body even then. It’s because my physical body never matched that imaginary one that I had dreamed up in my head. Hmmm . . . what a disconnect!
If a clothing item doesn’t fit, my first thought is that it’s because my body is wrong and imperfect. I need to make my body fit the clothes instead of the other way around. In reality, the human body does come in different shapes and sizes. That’s why clothing comes in different styles and sizes. I can say it in my head, but I’m not sure that I truly know it in my heart and soul.
What if every piece of clothing in my closet fit me well and looked good on me? That would be a generous gift of self-acceptance.
What if I could change the body image in my mind to match the body that I actually have, instead of trying to make my body fit the one that I’ve dreamed up for myself? That would be a true gift of self-love.