Last night, someone asked me how I was doing with the blog.  Translate (in my mind):  “How are you doing with weightloss?  You don’t look like you’ve lost any weight.”  I immediately felt shameful and defensive. 

I responded by confessing that I hadn’t really been focused lately on the blog and my efforts to be healthier.  The blog really isn’t about weightloss specifically, but about feeling better about our bodies and living healthfully with good food and enough exercise.  I still felt wrong somehow,  like I should have lost ten pounds by now.

It’s easy for me to get distracted from my mission.  Even though I’m retired, I find that visiting with friends, a home project, or whatever is on my daily agenda becomes the focus rather than taking care of myself with healthy food and daily exercise.  Eating healthfully and daily exercise isn’t a habit yet, and until it is, I need to keep it at the forefront of my day.

I haven’t checked in on the blog in several (or more) days.  I’ve been walking, but not regularly (3 days a week instead of 4-6).  Although I intend to eat more vegetables, it’s easier to grab something with carbs.  I’ve been out to eat more in the last couple of weeks, and I haven’t made the healthiest choices from the menu.  And then there’s the matter of the bag of Halloween candy that’s been waiting for the trick-or-treaters.

I do better when I read some of my healthy lifestyle materials or post something on this blog.  It helps me refocus on my mission to eat healthfully and exercise each day.

Exercise in the morning is critical for me.  If I’ve got plans or an appointment in the morning, then I need to walk before then. 

Eating more vegetables doesn’t mean that I can’t have other foods.  But I do need to put some limits on my unhealthy food choices.  I’ve used food journals in the past, and I know that it’s a good strategy to help me be more aware of what I’m eating.  It also makes me think twice before I eat something unhealthy since I’ll have to write it down.  I’m going to put a journal in the kitchen and write down what I eat.  I’m going to look up more recipes with vegetables and consciously make better choices with my meals. 

I want to find a healthy way to eat without feeling punished.  I don’t want to diet, but making healthy eating my way of life.  I’ve failed in the past, when I’ve made my eating restrictive and made weightloss all about willpower, shame, and fear.  I really want to find a way to get beyond that. 

I do want to lose weight too.  I probably will never reach the ideal picture that I have in my mind, or the ideal number on the scale.  But I can do better with eating and exercise which will definitely result in better health and probably weightloss too.


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